CHEAP PUBLICITY

The latest release on stabUdown records (stab002) is out now.
It's a live album from The Flat Can Co. rock and roll band and it is available here:

BUY! (please)

SUCKING OUT OF THE 70s

Just watched (the original) BAD NEWS BEARS. This film could only exist and be relevant in the context of the time it was made. This is not say it's dated to the point it's not enjoyable now... it's more than excellent today. It was remade recently to laughable results and the point is obvious... some of the greatest "art" is a product of it's time and place and can have an infinite shelf life but it can't be recreated. This is exactly how i felt about the ROCKET FROM THE TOMBS "reunion" a few years ago. As a clevelander it may sacrilege to disrespect the mighty ghost of olde, but it's a sad truth that that band has no purpose getting together in a half assed fashion and cash in on what was pure honest art. C'mon people... let's face the facts... they were great for what they were doing at a specific time and place where such music was unheard of and flat out unheard.

You want to hear that magic? Pick up the reissue and play it. What point is there in going to see them go all stars on 45 with their own material? Please don't think that these been around the block veterans of rock have any capacity to recreate what was completely outsider rock by their former youthful fuck off selves. It can never happen. Those songs were born out of circumstances and conditions that surrounded the people that made it and there is no way in hell they could have done it in any other fashion. So go to Williamsburg (both colonial and brooklyn) if you are into historical reenactment. Same can be said for NA, ZERO BOYS, RADIO BIRDMAN or BLUE CHEER.

BAD NEWS BEARS pre-teen drinking, race baiting and swearing is paradoxically both passe and completely taboo in today's modern climate. That film would have never been made today and if it was it would have absolutely no edge or value. So to all the quick burning classic bands that think that getting back together 20-30 years after the fact... take your cruddy trophy and shove it up your ass.

fuck you modern punks

the greatest jam

I was in a pseudo band called Dutch Rub. We did nothing but practice and make shitty 4 track recordings. One day in a rehearsal space above a gay bar, the singer/guitarist/genius wanted to show us a new song. So i just turned on the Tascam and let him go. What was captured on that dirty cassette may be the sonic equivalent of the Shroud of Turin. Below is a link to that artifact. Prepare for epiphany.

Frankenstein's Lament

TAPE WORM

Cassettes have made a mini revival as a bedroom musician's medium of choice. Better than Cd-Rs, which feel cheap and somewhat of a ripoff, cassettes just have more class. Nothing worse than ordering a CD and it shows up as some lame CD-R from Staples with a label maker special on the top.

I always felt having a cassette of an available album was like paper money without the gold backing (my same beef with MP3s). Never one to buy an album on tape but i loved getting unreleased gems handed to me in that little plastic package. The only cassettes that survived my moves were the ones that friends have made for me of their bands. So i decided to to rip a few of these dusty, hissy fits and put them up for you to enjoy (and for me to rub in your face)

Prepare your feeble brain for a PUFFTUBE resurrection. After years of (supposed) silence The Tube is finally ready hop outta his candy coffin and plant anti-personnel mines in yr cochlea.
While the rest of the indie/undie world was hopped up on piss poor cle. crap, Pufftube was still cooking up unfathomable sounds. A little know fact: yours unruly is officially the unofficial Pufftube archivist. I have tapes and tapes of cloistered clandestine jams that were being made
during those quiet years. What i have here are 2 rare as fuck tracks from the immediate post "Emergency Peanut" era.

CHATTERY TEETH
SKEW LALLO(W)

In the mid 80s, Kent was the ugly autistic/artistic sister to Cleveland's loud and lumbering big brother. More art damaged and twice as fucked, Kent bands didn't so much kick ass as kill brain cells. THE RAGGED BAGS were one the more "put together" groups of the time (and that is not saying much at all) and one of the least documented. I am not going to front and say i know a hell of a lot about them. These tracks from a cassette that one of their more (in)famous drummers made me explain them the best.

I'M DRUNK
DAZED

The LAUGHING HYENAS were just flat out devastating (well up until da' blues took over). Live they could make you black and blue from the inside out and their first 3 releases are still essential American primal scream therapy. One of my most prized possessions is a tape with their rarely/never heard 4 track and 16 track demos from late summer '86. These sessions were done with their original line up that include Mike Danner (the guy that hooked me up and one of the funniest MFers this planet has ever known) on drums. These 2 cuts are 4 track demos done in a basement in August '86.

HELL'S KITCHEN
EIGHTEEN

grape pop and hot fries

Was i the only person that watched The White Rapper Show on Vh1? Now i dislike MC SERCH as much as the next person that knows 3rd Base sucked, but i have to acknowledge the fact that he was a major source behind the greatest hip hop album of all time (NAS "iLLMATIC) and one of the most slept on (O.C. "WORD...LIFE"). I'll let his awkward fat ass slide on those merits alone.

The real reason that show slayed all other reality shows was that it was produced by EGO TRIP. For those who may not know, EGO TRIP was at first an amazing periodical in the early 90's that covered hip hop with unrelenting insight, wit and love. They were the only magazine during that time that even came close to MOTORBOOTY's god head smart ass status. Since they folded, they put out 2 must have tomes: Ego Trip's Book of Rap Lists and Ego Trip's Big Book of Racism

Anyhow... the point being that THE WHITE RAPPER SHOW, beneath it's seemingly played out premise, was filled with cameos and references to a time in hip hop where all seemed to be right. When it was the most vital form of music vs today where it is for the most part a virtual muzak. Yes, there are still great artists, decent labels and good tracks to be had but they are in the minority (irony?).
So this got me flipping thru my poorly filed 12"s and i put together a set of some of my favorite records from 1990-1995. After '95 there was a definite change in climate (and not for the worse) so i decided to take it EZ on myself and just stick to those years.
below is the track list and below that is the link.
Word to your tattered Afrika Medallion.

1. buck-whylin - terminator x '90
2. murder rap - above the law '90
3. make it happen (remix) - ultramagnetic mcs '91
4. this is a visit (hardhead mix) - downtown science '91
5. one in the chamba - the almighty rso '92
6. fat pockets (radio remix) - showbiz & ag '92
7. punks jump up to get beat down - brand nubian '92
8. saturday nite live (horny mix) - masta ace '93
9. close the crackhouse - professor x '93
10. get funky (remix) - the beatnuts '94
11. suckas need bodyguards - gang starr '94
12. mad izm - channel live '94
13. the funkiest - funkdoobiest '94
14. 9th wonder (slicker this year) elaine brown - digable planets '94
15. headz ain't redee (beatminerz remix) - black moon\smif-n-wessun '95
16. daaam! (buckwhild remix) - tha alkaholiks '95

on the DL

live from the nut hut

Almost 10 years ago i was an office drone and i spent my lunch hour across the street at a used record shop almost everyday. I was already friends with many of the employees but the real perk was being in tight with the manager. This long hair was an ex-junkie by the age of 18 and obsessed with Spacemen 3, Deviants and Hawkwind... so anything outside that realm was free gain for me.

One average afternoon i went over to the store and he gave me a nod and motioned for me to go into the back storeroom with him. There, in piles on the floor, was a huge blues and roots collection in near mint shape (or NM for the collector scum). He let me pick out whatever i wanted and then proceeded to bag them up and give them to me for free. I nearly shat.

Apparently, this widow brought this amazing booty in the night before. Her husband worked for a blues station and these records were squirrelled away in the basement. There were countless gems that i still have even after suffering a severe karma attack.
while filing the records, a stack of them fell off the top of my shelf and conked me on the head... knocking me out for a few seconds. When i came to i had this fucked up twinge in my back that i still suffer with today. I have no doubt that the ghostly hand of that old coot pushed those records on me to let me know that my ill gotten fortune took him a lifetime to acquire.

One of the best LPs in that collection was this compilation called COUNTRY NEGRO JAM SESSION on the late great Arhoolie label. Nestled in the midst of the fantastic slide blues and dusty country licks was this fucked up jam called "Foxhunt".
I think it's better enjoyed without my pontification.
Below is the description from the back of the album.
Click on it to download.

PSICK OF PSYCH

Why must i have to hear 23 yr old stoners tell me about PSYCH? That term should be resting on a shelf next to PUNK, INDUSTRIAL and AGGRO. What does it even mean anymore? It's applied to everything. Shit, i heard "Reggatta de Blanc" referred to as "The Police's 'What A Bunch Of Sweeties' ".

It's getting to the point where i rather go see a ska band because at least i won't have some shaggy headed dip shit approaching me and talking my ear off about French Psych bands from 1972. Let's face it... if you are in a band and you refer to said band with the P word chances are pretty high that you flat out suck a bag of fuck sticks. It's a catch all term that can instantly give you an easy pass from being a totally crappy band. "The guitars sound like a baby playing with a squeaky door" OH, IT'S PSYCH! "Are those drums or marbles in a dryer?" OH, IT'S PSYCH! "Did he just sing something about a minotaur drinking mead?" OH, IT'S....

Not to just bitch, i offer a simple solution to this horse shit... just stop calling bands and songs and albums PSYCH. Cold turkey stop. Try using the terms _______ ROCK. You don't have to pigeon hole your music or play to current (retro) trends. Make your own noise and let it speak for itself and while your at it stop downloading from those fucking prog blogs (and calling it psych).

rebuttal

8 Simple Rules For Dating My Noise Band

1. CRYPTIC IS THE NEW IRONIC
Pick a name with 2 non related words or better yet, make up a word using new letters from your own personal alphabet. Since you have already created an unprecedented new sound why not make up your own system of language.

2. ONLY USE YOUR EQUIPMENT IN YOUR DESCRIPTIONS
Besides the obligatory use of "drone" and "aural (destruction, devastation, rape, murder, man scaping, pan searing, charlie horse...etc)" it's better that you do not describe what your music may sound like, but to just list what ingenious instruments you are using to create such BRAVE SOUNDS. ie... Scrap Metal, 2 Stringed toy guitar, Casio SK-10 covered in orange tabbies, jug of human pus, emery boards (with contact mics, of course).

3. NO LESS THAN 32 DIFFERENT RELEASES PER YEAR.
CD-Rs, cassettes, lathe cut 8"s... you need to be prolific to be taken seriously in this game. No one wants to wait a fortnight to have to hear your new and exciting DRONES and AURAL BUTCHERY. Keep high speed dubbing and make sure your cracked version of Nero is in working order.

4. CRAFTMATIC
Hand made packages are not only lovely personal touches that show you care but FUCKING MANDATORY DUDE! Paste and scissors and magazines and cardboard are just the start. If you expect these kids to consider you down you better get creative with your packaging. Epidermal layers from any mammals are always nice touches as are vending machine toys.

5. LTD ED OOP RARE!
Please do not make more than 50 of any release. What are you... some sort of corporate fluffer?

6. THURSTON MOORE
If this aging queen isn't willing to release any of your ART you might as well surrender yourself to a lifetime of mediocrity. Remember playa... SEND 2 COPIES TO ARTHUR MAGAZINE or else Mr. Moore and his unconjoined twin Mr. Coley will not be able to sell them at Kim's Underground or Ebay without having an extra copy.

7. LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
Your art is far to precious to be performed in a bar or club. That is why you need to kick it out in a coffee shop or dilapidated ghetto house that is 25 years behind the current zoning ordinances. Black Mold is not only an awesome name for your band or project but great way to get your venue to have street cred.

8. HEAR NO EVIL
Don't actually listen to the music you and your fellow scenesters make... that's just lame.
Not because it's egotistical but because the music is really lame. Just keep on downloading Young Jeezy and Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah and cover your ipod screen for fuck's sake.

after the love is gone

i had planned a very detailed and conventional Top Ten LPs list but then found myself with one resounding question ringing in my head... "why are you doing this?" Yeah, it's a simple(ton) question but it was enough to make me not want to do a list ala my Top 12"s.

So here's a semi stream of consciousness round up of what albums i was really into in the '06.

Easily the my favorite album was J DILLA "Donuts". it came out right at the crack of the new year and was never replaced. Even during the few short weeks before he passed away i was struck with a sense of utter amazement at this thing. It felt like a calm release that only someone that has been "through it" could create. Every track and sound had a depth to it that seem to... not so much suck you in, but settle you down for a real lesson. Yes, it's basically beats and samples some may be described as half-baked ideas or sketches but only a douche bag would see it that way.
It's a whole created by perfect parts. Like how enjoying the moment makes you in the long run have a more complete life. Unlike other great artists that passed away that hadn't made a note of importance in 30 years, this loss truly sucks. Consider the current state of hip hop and you'll understand.

Most of the year i was blown away by post-glitch bliss. TIM HECKER "Harmony In Ultra violet" was a reflex grab for me since almost everything this canuck craps out of his laptop is truly beautiful. It's dumbfounding in it's amorphous haze and overwhelming in it's indescribable beauty. DONATO WHARTON "Body Isolations" was picked up because of the great cover and never put down because of the music. It breathes and thinks thru it's shimmering piano tinkles and atmospheric scapes. KANGDING RAY "Stabil" sounded lika an orcestra of cold drops of water on an aluminium tray and i played it non stop.

Pitchfuckers were all over BURIAL last year but basically turned a deaf ear and a dumb ass to the better of the 2 Hyperdub full lengths, KODE 9 + SPACEAPE "Memories Of The Future" is (sort of) a modern take on the LKJ/Dennis Bovell connection. Deep hypnotic tones with a croaking baritone spoken word glaze. Marc Leclair (bka Akufen) released a loose concept album in "Musique Pour 3 Femmes Enceintes". Thru the full course of this disc you are taken on a journey from minimal fuzzy clicks to polyrhythmic overload. This album seems to last a lifetime, but in a very, very good way.

Ahh, rock and roll... is it dead? is claiming it's dead, dead? Yes and no on all accounts. Comets On Fire "Avatar" was on constant replay. Getting better which each release this one is a mother fucker! Tempering the all out feedback assault with the mellower (melodic) segments works perfectly. I know very little about the group ON who had a CD released on Campbell Kneale's Celebrate Psi Phenomenon label, but what i do know is that it's a NZ scuzz rock mind fuck that needs to be blasted whilst drinking heavily (beer, liquor or Windex will do nicely). Remember when SY was somewhat youthful and good? Well, take all the dissonant love they once spread and spread it on thicker. Makes one understand that "noize rock" is a pussy moniker. I LOVE Major Stars... when half that group was Magic Hour and played the Euclid Tavern with Ghost it changed my life forever. Every Major Stars album is untouchable so of course i couldn't wait for another one to be unleashed upon us mortals. Well, the pre LP 7" with the new singer didn't totally float my yacht but the music was still perfect... leads that howl like a wolf god at the full moon, a rhythm section that understands that sitting in the pocket doesn't mean laying back. "Syntopticon" ended up being a fucking beast, although i still think the new singer is sub par to Wayne's wobbly warble. Jazkamer "Metal Music Machine" is one of thee most intense albums I've heard in many a blue moon draft. They distill metal to it's basic parts: blast beats and blazing riffs, doom laden drop C chords and squealing feedback. Not blending them together but meditating on each part like a Buddhist in a bullet belt.


I really played the hell out of Black Angels "Passover" (please do not mention BJM to me) and then played it more. Working For A Nuclear Free City may be a stupid as shit name but their worship of Stone Roses and all things Manchester (their hometown... does that make their ripping it off better?) sounded great to me.


So if you are interested in any of these albums use the old cut and paste and google method and find out more... then buy them!